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- Today marks my fourth sobriety day, and my wife got me this cool coin because she’s proud of me! Alcohol is a thing of the past for me; if you’re struggling, just take it a day at a time. [OC]
- I told my wife that Rupert Murdoch’s chin disturbed me. She replied to me with this.
- A coworkers relative got this pup without consulting the wife and couldn’t keep it so I swooped in to take him in. First family dog and my wife and daughter are ecstatic. Christmas hero.
- My family never remembers my birthday, i havent celebrated since i was little. This is my husband’s first time being home for one and he flew in, middle of the night with pie and a new car for me bc he knew it had been a rough day. I love him
- My wife and I were finally able to catch “Red Thread”, a pigeon we had been seeing for weeks. The little guy had string tangled around his foot. I was able to get him to eat outta my hand, then after a couple tries I got him! We are feelin pretty good now. 💐❤️🇨🇦
- My landlady has been promising me a concrete driveway for two years, now. This morning, I got this text from her.
- While my wife was away I had to keep sending sexy photos to remind her what she’s got at home.
- My supervisor told me today that he could have another person ready to take my job an hour after I left if need be, I was only inquiring about a raise I was supposed to get anyway, this was also during my break surrounded by other coworkers. So I said “start the timer” And I left.
- This couple hired me, a complete stranger, to watch their kid for a date night. Now they’ve practically abandoned me with their kid. What do I even fucking do? I need to get paid and I also can’t leave their child home alone. They are just ignoring my message. Put DND on after I texted them.
- Luna eats my live succulents so I got Lego ones. I can’t have nice things.
- I requested 8 bananas in my weekly grocery pickup order…. They gave me 8 BUNCHES, and managed to only charge me $0.68 – the price of one single banana
- My wife loves movies, but dislikes unnecessary sexual scenes. This is a gift she got from some work friends.
- I got a lot of comments yesterday asking to see a video of my family using the ODR (Outdoor Rink). Here is my daughter WOHS (Working on her Skills).
- I work from home, so my dad wanted me to sign for his package. Found this sign outside our door after I signed. For the record, I am not disabled.
- My wife and I like to see how long it takes to notice we’re filming each other. This is one of my favorites.
